Personal

Hello everyone!
I apologize for the lack of blog entries... But I was pretty busy spending the maximum time I can with my boyfriend before leaves/moves to university which is in another city.
Oh the joys of LDR (Long Distance Relationship)... I must say that I am (now) going through a difficult time. Adjusting from a regular relationship to an LDR is harder than I thought.
Realizing that if I am lucky enough I'll see him maybe once or twice a month is making my heart hurt.
I have always been an "over thinker" and (now) I really wish I wasn't.
Our friend group (we are in the same friend group) has separated into different paths. Half are staying in our home city and others are moving away. I am staying in the city because of my parents (being over(ly) protective).
My boyfriend had a choice between staying or going. The university he wanted to go to was far away. I want him to go to the university he wants no matter where it is and for him not to have any regrets. I didn't want to be that girlfriend that forced her boyfriend to stay. I know that our relationship will go through this "bump" and we will be fine. Trusting each other is the key in any relationship.

In a way, I feel like I lost my best friend too (him also being my best friend). Now, things are going to change pretty dramatically and I hate change. I always hated change, but now I have no choice but to accept it and move on. Since, my-our friend group is all split up, I am forced to make new friends too... Or temporary "replacements".

This summer went by so quickly and I barely saw him in July because of summer courses I took (and his job). August was really short too... He went to Miami and worked. We got 2 weeks to spend a mere week with each other and then *poof* he's gone.

I really wish that we had more time to spend with each other but unfortunately that was not the case. The summer was a blur and so was this year in general.

This year has been good and bad for me. It was good because I fell in love with my best friend and he makes me deliriously happy.

It was also bad because a certain calculus and vectors (math) teacher disappeared in the middle of the term. Not that she even taught anyway, but at least she took up textbook examples. When she left all my class of 10 got " I don't want to teach anything because your teacher will be back next week" or "here's the questions, do them". The school's office did a terrible job too. They didn't tell us (the students) that our teacher is not coming back and the supply teachers did nothing.
I know I should have asked for help from NY friends (smart group) but they all had a very difficult semester. Chemistry, Calculus and Vectors, and Physics. My boyfriend went to sleep at 2 or 3am every night trying to finish everything. But all of my friends had a different calculus teacher and she actually taught. I couldn't transfer into their ass because all of her classes were full. So, I was stuck in a very sticky situation. I didn't want to bother anyone for help because everyone was way too busy.

All conditional acceptances from all the programs at universities that I applied to were accepted. When the final marks came in, they took my offer back. All because of that damn calculus mark. I applied to the university's summer school extension but didn't get it.

Then I retook calculus and vectors (I refer to it as just calculus) and got  90% in summer school. My unicersity's admissions officer promised to give my acceptance back if all the conditions were met. And they were after I retook the course, but when they got my transcripts... The admissions officer just gave me a "everything is full, I'll put you on the waiting list" speech.

That's the story of why I am not going to university this year.

Having the marks to get in to university and not getting in... Is a stroke of bad luck. Unfortunately, it runs in my family. Both of my parents didn't get in the first time they applied even though they are smart. My dad was 0.5% away from getting in and my mom missed a deadline because of health reasons. As for me... It was the irresponsible math teacher and school. If I knew the teacher wasn't coming back for good...I would've dropped the course or got a tutor.

Lesson of the day: don't trust teachers and the school and the university.

Being the only person in my group not going into university this year sucks. It means I will be left out of all the experiences they will have and university/college life. Everyone will have new friends and replacements except me. Through out all of my life I have been always "left out", until this year when I found people that understood me. It seems like even in this friend group I will be left out now too.

My choices are either stay at home (because my dad says "why work now when you'll be working your whole life after? Take a break") or do a victory lap in high school.

Both choices are depressing (and I wouldn't be surprised if I will be depressed by the end of this school year) and suck.

I'd like to think of this as a lifetime opportunity to rediscover myself and enjoy life for a year stress free (somewhat until the university application process starts again). But right now, I feel too depressed about this whole situation.

One of the upsides is that both my boyfriend and I would be graduating in 2019 because I'll be going a year late and he has 1 year of co-op in his program.

Another upside that my friends have is that their summer starts 2 months earlier than mine. If I go for a victory lap that is. I mean, I could just take all the fun courses and not even need to get good marks for it, so I guess that doesn't matter either.

For all those people that are still in highschool: take fun courses, join clubs and sports teams. Don't be me who had to be forced by my parents not to join anything and take all unfun courses! Enjoy yourself in highschool.

I might as well make this blog a model horse photography and rambling AND dealing with LDR blog.

I think this experience (of documenting all the "bumps") will become useful for those who are not sure if they want to do an LDR or are just curious (?).

I probably made some grammatical and spelling mistakes in this blog post because I am writing this at 3:25am and on my smartphone. So, I apologize for that.

Also, if anyone has a comment or opinion or anything they want to say or need some advice... Comment down below!

That's all for this post!

~Marina

I must say... The feeling of getting your acceptance taken back is the worst feeling ever in the feelings of educational institutions. Don't " pull" a me please!